Six Short Poems

Lovely Spring Day

Slow snow
Falling up
Fall back to where you came from, bitch




The Loogie

That you snorted
then waited for me to walk on by
before you horked
made me believe in gentlemen again


The Pedestrian

As much as I dislike getting wet
— like a cat facing a bath
being splashed by a car speeding through a puddle
would compliment my misery splendidly


Identity Oopsy

I thought they were three men
Closer, I saw one was a dame
She just had skinny thighs
and a crackaddict face


Here’s How Strongly Worded Letters Get Started

I intend to inform management
that you let your dogs shit on your balcony
only cause your bitches yapped me awake for the trillionth time
so I’m too tired for forgiveness today


Glutton for Punishment

The more I play
The worse I get
at Jeopardy!
and euchre
and pool
But I just can’t quit you my darlings!
I’m relentless!
a masochist!
a fool!