How a Lottery Scam Inspired an Even Stronger-Worded Letter

Last night I got an email from "UK online lottery."
Here's what it said:

The Lottery Company
P.O Box 789
Harrogate HG1 2YR
Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

YOU HAVE WON 352,000 POUNDS STERLING

Attn: Winner,

You have won the sum of £352,000 (THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO THOUSAND,POUNDS STERLING ) from BRITISH LOTTERY on our 2007 new year charity bonanza.

The winning ticket was selected from a Data Base of Internet E-mail Users,from which your Address came out as the winning coupon.

We hereby urge you to claim the winning amount quickly as this is a monthly lottery. Failure to claim your win will result into the reversion of the fund to our following month.

You are therefore requested to contact immediately our Claims Department below quoting winning number: LOTTERY NUMER:05-08-10-18-20-46-{43}.

Contact Person: Barrister Morrison Fisher
email: barristermorrisfisher@yahoo.co.uk
PHONE: +44-701-113-8636
+44-704-570-1165

Congratulations once again.
please quote your lottery number.

Regards,

Mrs. Rose Carl.
Online coordinator for UK NATIONAL LOTTERY
Sweepstakes International Program.


So for shits and giggles I went ahead and sent them my reference number. Here's how they replied:


P.O Box 789
Harrogate HG1 2YR
Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

OUR REF: 27349/46

Attn: Winner,

I am Barr. Morrison Fisher, I have been assigned by United Kingdom National Lottery to process your payment file. I wish to congratulate you on your winnings. The winning information presented by you has been verified.

Meanwhile as for now everything seem to be working in your favour, all that we require from you now, is your maximum cooperation for smooth transfer of your money through paying bank, swift transfer or courier delivery of cashier’s cheque depends on how you want it redeemed to you . You are required to fill out the claims processing form below and return to us for proper verification.

UNITED KINGDOM AWARD VERIFICATION FORM:

==================================================
FULLNAME:....................................................................
FORWARDING ADDRESSE:.........................................................
CITY/STATE:....................... COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:.......................
MARITAL STATUS:..................... NATIONALITY..............SEX...........
DATE OF BIRTH:.................
TEL/FAX NR: .........................OCCUPATION:..........................
CURRENT EMAIL:....................
===================================================
Upon the receipt of the dually filled claims form, I will notify the British Gaming Board (BGB), so as to give approval to our paying bank or Courier Company, the permission to make the transfer or deliver your winning cheque/winning certificate. You should send us your personal contact phone number so the bank or courier company can contact you by phone or email.

Congratulations, once again.

Best Regards,

Barr. Morrison Fisher.
Phone number: +44701 113 8636
Foreign Services Manager,
Payment and Release order Department,
TRANS-ATLANTIC S.A LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.

Confidentiality Notice: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and contains confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.

Copyright © 1994-2007 The UK National Lottery Inc.
All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline


After a quick Google search that confirmed my suspicion that these guys were fishy, I replied:


The Too Smart to be Duped By You Company
P.O. Box 666
Canada 666 666
Ref: 666
Batch: 666
Contact person: Satan
BarristerDoctorSatan@yahoo.com

Attn: Winner,

Congratulations! You're going to hell! Your name was chosen off the top of my head in the Royal Annual Let's-See-Which-Scam-Artist-I-Want-To-Call-Out Bonanza!

Now in all seriousness, I will publish your fraudulent email on my blog to notify as many people as possible that you're a bunch of wankers. I will also notify the gaming and lottery boards involved to protect people from being fooled by your evil bullshit.

Furthermore, no real barrister would ever send emails containing such bad grammar, spelling mistakes, and poorly constructed sentences. Maybe instead of ripping people off for a living, you should go back to school, Kiddo!

Once again Congratulations! And by that I mean fuck you.

Unkindest Regards,

Her Highness Doctor Researcher Barrister J.S. Ballbuster Esq.

BarristerDoctorSatan@yahoo.com