MORE things I hate and love!!!

I hate:

— Leggings worn as pants, especially stirrup ‘pants’
— Public camel toe


YAY CAMEL TOE? NO.

— Dirty/dysfunctional trouser snakes
— Crocs
— When people fail to remove price tag stickers from the soles of their shoes
— Fitting rooms sans mirrors + sales staff on commission
— That in every role (even though she’s great) Diane Keaton still has that mannish Annie Hall style
— Actresses wearing lipstick during morning scenes
— Shows that don’t bother hiring medical consultants to authenticate the doctor-character’s ‘prognosis speech’
— People who are sanctimonious about their avoidance of TV
— The same people who are all smug cause they don’t have cell phones (cause being unreachable means you’re on an elevated plane of being?)
— Disingenuous thank-you speeches at award shows
— Commercials generally
— Bad Boy commercials specifically
— Ads in toilet stalls
— Bitches who leave the tap running after they’ve washed their hands
— Public nail clipping, hair brushing, and nose picking
— Jobs that are posted on job boards even though the company has already promised the job to someone
— Plastic bags caught in trees
— Plastic cups
— When “lol” is used in text messages and IMs to diffuse gravity from the statement it follows
— People who block the subway doors
— Cockroaches
— Caterpillars
— Roaming flower vendors
— Skids who treat me like I’m useless at pool, who then turn around and keep needing to be told we’re high ball, who then don’t honour their wagers. And to top it off they usually ask for my number cause they’re too drunk to realize I’m tolerating them only sarcastically
— How my jaw clicks while I eat my breakfast in the elevator and I know my fellow passenger hates me for being so ‘noisy’
— When the savages in my building remove my period panties from the dryer because, distracted by an important phone call, I was 10 minutes late in collecting them


I love:

— Subway mice overcoming adversity…totally inspiring!
— Snails avoiding adversity…so strong!
— That everything David Bowie touches turns to gold
— Cartoonish thoughts (ie. An evil pony tail attaches itself onto a man’s head and uses the man as a host body to get itself into metal shows)
— Subversive humour
— Comic jams
— Borat
— Degrassi
— Documentaries and mockumentaries
— Nouns used as verbs (bone, couch, shark)
— Hand-written letters received in the mail
— All-day breakfasts
— Meltdowns at Master Control
— When events stray from the original plan, and pleasant surprises ensue
— Doing something I thought I couldn’t
— Adrenaline rushes
— Endorphins
— Playing the ‘bitter bartender’ for shits and giggles despite the fact that I’m secretly friendly
— Calling people “slick” and “chief” and “boss” and knowing they’ll take it cause I’M IN CHARGE, PONYBOY!
— Dirty gin martinis
— Picnics
— Eavesdropping
— People watching
— Plays
— Leaf green next to sky blue
— The feel of summer grass on my bare feet
— Being loved in return

HEARTS :)