The Pictorial Life of Jules

BORN OCTOBER 4, 1980. 9 LBS, 11 OZ. DELIVERED BY C-SECTION BECAUSE I WAS TOO BIG AND TOO SNOBBY TO BOTHER WITH THE PESKY BIRTH CANAL


3 YEARS OLD AND WEARING MY BIG BIRD SWEATER!


I LOVED BEING 5. I THOUGHT 5 WAS SO MATURE


6 AND CLEARLY ENTERING AWKWARD PHASE. (STARTED DRESSING SELF)


STILL IN AWKWARD PHASE AT 9. TRIED TO BRUSH HAIR LIKE REGULAR GIRLS, NOT KNOWING CURLS DON'T WORK THAT WAY


STARTING TO GET THE HAIR THING BY 12. BUT STILL UGLY THANKS TO BRACES


14 AND FINALLY GETTING ATTENTION FROM BOYS (BOOBS SUDDENLY LARGE)


EXPLOITING SUDDEN ATTENTION BY ACTING. MY HEAD SHOT AT 15


16 AND FINALLY PLUCKING BROWS/WEARING MAKEUP. YET MAINTAINED HIPPYISMS (IE USUALLY DIDN'T SHAVE LEGS)


HEAD SHOT AT 17. HIPS GREW, WASN'T "SKINNY" ANYMORE. THOUGHT I WAS FAT


SKIPPING AHEAD 7 YEARS, HERE'S ME GRADUATING FROM RYERSON UNIVERSITY. THOUGH I LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME, IT WAS AN EVENTFUL 7 YEARS. I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL, REPAIRED STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS, GAINED AND LOST 40 LBS, WORKED FULL-TIME AT AN ART STORE, DECIDED TO BE A WRITER, WENT TO RYERSON, BECAME JADED, REFUSED TO WEAR COLOURS OTHER THAN BLACK OR RED, BECAME MUSIC SNOB, DREW COMICS, LIVED IN ENGLAND, EMBRACED COLOUR AGAIN (AND HIGH HEELS), MOVED A HANDFUL OF TIMES, DATED MANY BOYS, BECAME MORE SECURE WITH SELF