Memories Lurk Like Zombies

I was standing alone under a tree. I had been enjoying an evening of pool and rock & roll at the Rivoli with friends, and went outside for some air. I shivered in the September breeze and watched people walk past — everyone on the pull or on the piss, all in their Saturday night best.
Then I spotted someone approaching, wearing a dumpy green H&M shirt with the words ‘Farley Point’ written across it. I hated that shirt cause HE wore it too often and HE’d never been to Farley Point: the poser equivalent of Ashlee Simpson in an AC/DC tee. My eyes moved up to the person’s face. It was HIM. Beside HIM, walked a petite brunette.
HIS eyes flicked towards me. For a split second, I wondered if HE would look back and make any kind of gesture to acknowledge our botched relationship. Like, thumbs up to pretending to love you for a year of your precious young life, Jules. Peace sign to the homicidal thoughts I’ve had about you since I acknowledged your deception and stormed out of the restaurant five months ago, MOFO. Giant middle fingers!
His eyes fixed on mine as he walked by. “Hi,” he said to himself more than to me.
“I understand,” I said, too quietly for him to hear.
He gave me a cutesy wave over his shoulder. I nodded. I couldn’t be bothered to lift my hands from my pockets.
I watched him walk away with the brunette then I returned upstairs to my friends. I kept it together long enough to finish the game of pool and get myself home.
Even though I too am dating and have NO reason to feel anything other than fabulous, I went into a tailspin. Every wound I’ve ever had ripped open, and I hemorrhaged emotions for days. My bones were hollow, my blood was bile, my heart caved inwards, and he’ll forever stroll down the street, blissfully ignorant to the damaging effects of cutesy waves.
And that, right there, was my eureka moment. I realized that his ignorance is why I didn’t want him. His cowardice and coldness were so fucking taxing, so thank my lucky stars he’s not my problem anymore. He’s her problem now, that poor innocent brunette.
I am SHE who has battled and escaped, and now stands victorious under trees.